Wedding Planner

Top Tips for Parents of Brides and Grooms

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MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

Traditionally, the majority of wedding decisions and preparations fell to the mother of the bride, but things have now changed. A modern mother of the bride has to listen to the couple’s views and not interfere if her daughter insists on doing everything herself, but should be ready to step in and pick up the pieces if she comes running for help. A modern mother will also have to share the responsibilities with her future son-in-law and his parents. Today the mother of the bride needs to have the diplomatic skills of a UN peacekeeper, the powers of a mind reader and the preparedness of an SES rescue squad.

As soon as your daughter and her fiancé have set a date, sit down with them and discuss how you could be involved in, and contribute to their wedding. By talking this through at the beginning, you’ll avoid arguments later, when stress and time pressure comes into play.

If couples insist on doing everything themselves, try not to be upset. One of two things will doubtlessly happen. Either they will soon run out of steam/time/funds/patience and come running to you for help, or they will organise everything their way.You’ll be saved from all the stress of organising a wedding and you can then focus on being the most thoroughly relaxed and serene modern mother of the bride.

Related Article: 30 Wedding Planning Details You Don’t Want to Forget

BEFORE THE WEDDING

  • Place an engagement notice in the newspaper.
  • Help the bride to plan the ceremony and the reception.
  • Assist with finalising the guest list and supply addresses for your guests.
  • Send out the invitations and receive the RSVPs.
  • Supply details for the gift list or bridal registry.
  • Order and finalise flower arrangements in the church and at the reception. • Help draw up the reception seating plan.
  • Post the wedding notice in the newspaper.

ON THE DAY

  • Pamper yourself.
  • Look and feel fabulous.
  • Arrive early to the ceremony and check that all is in order.
  • Together the parents of the bride and groom receive and welcome guests at the reception.

 

HOW TO INVOLVE ALL PARENTS

If you and your fiancé are doing all the preparation and organising by yourselves, a good way to involve the parents is to arrange for them to take responsibility for some concrete aspect of the day. Rather than just handing over money randomly, your parents could take responsibility for paying for and/or organising a specific part of the day.

This could be anything from the mother of the groom organising the cake, or the groom’s parents paying for the Champagne, music, photographer or the venue. People like to be able to see and admire the contribution they made to the day.

 

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

Traditionally, the only requirement of the father of the bride was that he had deep pockets.Today, the modern father of the bride needs to have the diplomatic skills of an ambassador, patience of a saint, and listening skills and agreeability of a psychotherapist.

 

BEFORE THE WEDDING

  • Assist your wife and the bride to plan the ceremony and the reception.
  • Provide emotional and financial support to the happy couple.
  • Prepare a speech.

 

ON THE DAY

  • Ensure you have your buttonhole.
  • Accompany your daughter to the ceremony and walk her down the aisle.
  • Together the parents of the bride and groom receive and welcome guests at the reception.
  • Deliver the Father of the Bride speech.
  • Help transport any wedding gifts and deliver them safely to the couple’s home.

 

Wedding of Brendan and Emma, Studio Sixty

Wedding of Brendan and Emma, Studio Sixty

THE GROOM’S PARENTS

Right from the start ensure that jobs are clearly allocated so that everyone knows exactly what they are supposed to be doing. If you’re not sharing costs equally, one common solution is for the groom’s family to provide drinks and the wedding cake.

Whether or not you’re playing a central role in the preparations, you can help the happy couple make their day extra special simply by providing emotional and, maybe extra, financial support.

If you’re not asked to help, you can always offer to get involved in the preparations or offer to make a financial contribution. If the bride’s parents have it all under control, you can breathe a sigh of relief, relax and just enjoy the celebrations.

 

BEFORE THE WEDDING

  • Assist your son with the guest list and provide full names and addresses.
  • Make a list of your responsibilities so that no misunderstandings arise.
  • Help out when the photos are being taken; assist with making sure all the guests involved are at hand.
  • Together the parents of the bride and groom receive and welcome guests at the reception.
  • Help transport any wedding gifts and deliver them safely to the couple’s home.

Remember you have a team of friends and family around you who would probably love to be involved in the preparations. Everyone has special talents so involve your friends and family and get them to use their expertise to help out.

Prepare well when delegating, don’t give someone too much responsibility if you think it may become an issue. Brief them well and be very specific about what you want. For example, if your mother has offered to look after the cake, give her a picture of what you want. For example, if your mother has offered to look after the cake, give her a picture of what you want and specify the type of cake you would like, how many guests you will have to feed and what your budget is. She will feel more confident about her task and you will be more likely to end up with what you wanted.

Involving your family and friends in the preparations will make them feel important and involved, and it will take some of the load off you so you can focus on the fun things like wedding gowns and accessories.

 

The task of planning a wedding can seem quite daunting, check out the range of wedding planners on the Queensland Brides Directory to help ease the stress.


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