There’s an ‘I do’ on the horizon and a million decisions to make — so what do you decide on together?
Words: Natasha Pavez // Image: Canva
We’re always talking about the bride when it comes to weddings, and honestly, we’re the ones who make most of the decisions! When my partner and I got engaged last year, he was happy to leave most of the planning to me thanks to my time with QB, but we soon realised he needed a bit of input. And so, one Friday night, we sat down, wedding planning book close at hand, and decided on these three things…
Who’s coming?
No matter what other choices you make for your wedding day, you’re going to remember the people you spent the day celebrating with. So those people should all be people you adore — people who build you both up and are so excited to be cheering you on as you become a married pair! I have a big family; if I invited everyone, we’d have one very cramped and lopsided church. However, the guest list isn’t only about me; it’s about my partner, too. For us, it was important that the guest list was full of people who meant something to us both. We also ended up going for a smaller guest list, so we have had to be extra choosy about who we invite.
Of course, there are going to be people on the list that one of us might not know all too well outside of an anecdote or three. But we’ve looked at each name on the list and ensured everyone getting an invite is someone we can’t wait to share the day with.
Where’s it going to be?
Once that ring was on my finger, I began dreaming of eloping. I wanted us to jet off overseas and tie the knot on Italy’s Amalfi Coast. Beachy, chic, surrounded by scrumptious treats… well, can you blame me? If it was up to me, I’d already have that plane ticket in my hot little hands.
My partner, though? Not convinced. For him, it wasn’t exactly an issue where he got married, so much as it meant he couldn’t have all his favourite people with him when he got married. So, we compromised. We’re already super lucky to live near the coast, so we’re exchanging our vows in a tiny little church only moments away from the beach and hosting our reception at this gorgeous Italian restaurant overlooking the ocean. It’s made planning everything a lot easier — and I can’t say I’m mad about missing out on jet lag before we say “I do”!
What’s the budget?
They say you shouldn’t talk about religion, politics, or money, and I’ll agree on two out of three there. Money is a must. Like most couples, my partner and I had different ideas on what a wedding would cost. For him, simple courthouse nuptials was enough. For me? Like I said, Italy was looking mighty fine. I had my eye on some very, very nice shoes (red-soled, if you catch my drift). Add a dress, blooms, and jewellery, and I’m already blowing the budget without booking a photographer or sending an invite.
Okay, it wasn’t quite that dramatic, but we were different enough that we knew we seriously had to sit down and discuss the dollars. Together, we pored over some online guides, looked at suggested budget breakdowns, and decided what we wanted versus what we needed — yep, apparently, those are different things! We’ve now set some goals that are comfortable for both of us, and that’s going to look different for every couple. Set a budget together that you’re both happy with, make sure it includes wiggle room for those inevitable surprises, and the rest of the planning will become a whole lot easier.
And I’ll save those Italy plans for the honeymoon… watch this space.
Final tip: Check in with each other to make sure things are still moving along as planned. There will always be some changes, so keep each other in the loop!
Read more from Tash: 10 Surprising Things About Being Engaged (That No One Prepared Me For!)